Not Wanting...

I smiled
Trying hard to be brave
Choking back the tears
Not wanting you to see
Wanting you to think
I didn't really need you
Not wanting you to see
The pain that I was feeling
Not wanting you to know
How much I really love you
Not wanting you to see
How deeply you had cut me
Like a knife right through my heart

I lied
And said I'd be all right
I should have been an actress
But I had to play my part
Not wanting you to know
How much I really need you
Not wanting you to see
That I wanted just to die
Wanting you to think
It didn't really matter
Not wanting you to see
The pain that I was feeling
Not wanting you to know
Just how much you mean to me
Wanting you to think
I was glad that you were leaving
Jan. '86